My Motherhood, My Home
Reflections on Mother's Day
Happy Mother’s Day! I’d like to start with acknowledging that this day can come with a mixed bag of emotions. Some people may be mourning their mothers, struggling with fertility, or experiencing a number of other personal challenges that create a complicated relationship with this day. Before I write a bit about what this day means to me in the current stage of my life, please know that I send all my empathy if today is a hard day for you.
Motherhood, Honestly
An honest confession: When I was a teenager and in my young twenties, my most secret and deepest fear was living a life alone. It feels absurd to admit now - it feels dramatic, even irrational…but it was real. It wasn’t that I necessarily believed that having children was the only path to connection, but I did know that I wanted to build something rooted in love and belonging. It was a craving to create some sense of family that felt like home for myself, somehow and some way.
Becoming a mom was the start of the hopes being so deeply fulfilled. Creating a safe, loving home for my children has been the most healing and powerful experience of my life. So Mother’s Day is a day of sentimental celebration for me.
While I am cautious about losing myself entirely in motherhood, the truth is I’ve never more aligned with a purpose. What if I find myself in motherhood? I truly believe I was meant to raise my daughters. These beautiful little souls brought me joy, compassion, curiosity, wisdom. They have weeded out my feelings of fear and resentment, and replaced it with hope and love and empathy and peace in its place. They’ve given me lifetimes of happiness to witness. To think I’m just at the beginning with them!
Charlie and Lyla - my girls! I love you endlessly.
Advice from the Moms in My Life
In honor of Mother’s Day, I reached out to fellow moms and asked them: “If they could share one piece of advice to other moms, what would it be?” I love that they each gave me completely different answers. Here they are ❤️
From my Mugga (my grandmother): Use Your Voice
Make sure that as a baby, you talk to the baby. Sing, read, anything that lets your child hear your voice. Make sure that your baby knows you by your voice. Keep communicating constantly by your voice in some way. Your child will associate your love by hearing your voice. Your child will be soothed by hearing your voice if troubles arise. Hearing is the last sense to leave us as we die. I constantly talked to Bumpa [my grandfather] as he was dying. Voice is so important. Let your children know by your voice that you love them no matter what happens.
From my Mother: Enjoy + Be Present
Embrace every moment with your children. Time goes so quickly so my best advice is to always be present. Enjoy every minute. Nothing compares to the innocence of a child. The sound of their laugh is the best sound you’ll ever hear. The hugs and snuggles are the best feeling you’ll ever feel. Watching them get excited over small things can bring a tear to your eye. It fills your heart with so much love that grows stronger and deeper. Being a mother is truly the best blessing.
From my Mother-In-Law: Trust Your Gut
I think raising a family in this world saturated with information and influence - mom’s don’t learn to recognize and trust their maternal instincts nearly enough. Sometimes it’s okay to listen to your gut and ignore the internet, well-meaning friends, and even grandmas. No one knows your babies better than you!
From my Aunt Cathy: Prioritize quality time
Don’t worry about the housework getting done when there’s an opportunity to have special time with your kiddos, because there will come a day when they have their own life.
From my Best Friend’s Mom: On Listening
The best advice a friend gave me that I remind myself as a mom: Am I listening or am I problem solving? Sometimes our kids (and even we as moms) just need to be heard. Other times we need a solution. It’s not always easy, but choosing to really listen - without jumping to solve - has deepened the trust and closeness I share with my daughters. It has helped us grow together, not just get through the moment.
Other Mother’s Day Reads:
Beautiful words! And I struggled for quite awhile when my kids were little--by how much I loved being their mom (and a SAHM after I quit). I NEVER missed my job. Not once. A friend told me "maybe this is your purpose...for now...and embrace that). I'm thrilled to hear you are at peace with the decision.
And my advice is that it gets better every year--the transition to doing things FOR your kids to WITH your kids is the very best. And also being able to read a book or magazine at the pool...haha.